It's Christmas but why can't I smile?

So Christmas just passed and it was interesting to say the least. I spent time with my family, exchanged gifts, made some jokes. It was a good time. On Christmas day, my cousins and I were trying to win some free prizes of G4tv with no luck.

Now amongst all this, there was one thing that was plaguing my mind. The fact that I don't have a new job yet and January is coming around the corner. With me worrying about this situation, a whole bunch of questions popped in my head:

Am I making the right choice?
What if Everything goes wrong?
You sure you know what your doing?
What if you run out of money?
Are you going to make it to Japan?

Questions like that were in my head one hour before Christmas day. And this state of worry has been stuck in my head ever since. I wouldn't worry as much if I had a new position, or at least more money saved up. I know its the holiday season so I should be hoping for the best for next year. But its like I have this dark cloud over my head that I can't get rid of.

Funny thing is, this same problem is happening to all my roommates. We are all college graduates and we can't seem to get a break.

One of the goals I have is to make a difference in my life. I want to be known for doing something instead of just existing. And the position where I'm at now doesn't seem like I'm making a difference.

If you settle for less, you get less. Never settle, but don't let life pass you by.

With the world revolving around C.R.E.A.M. Nothing is promised until you make that promise.

And right now, I don't know what I promised myself.

2007 KC Holiday Party

For Seven years now, me and my friends have this tradition of having a holiday party. We don't really get the opportunity to hang out with each other as much as we want to, so events like these bring back a breath of fresh air. The holiday party consists of a potluck and party games like white elephant or secret santa.

Being the person that I am, I volunteered to host the party this year. Now my mentality when it comes to hosting is either you go big or you go home. I don't want people to leave that party disappointed, and I don't want to hear complaints. Basically I'm like a perfectionist when it comes to this. Thankfully this year's party was off the hook. We had a rediculous amount of alcohol, a rediculous amount of food, and a large amount of people. The turkey I made was not as good as the one I made on Thanksgiving, but people still enjoyed it. And to be honest with you guys, its been awhile since I had a good time and payed for it the next morning. But luckily it wasn't as bad as my bday, now that day was just horrible.

We were also able to see friends that we haven't seen since we graduated high school. So you can call it a seven year reunion.

I would like to thank everyone who came out that night. Great times with great friends, that's all I ask for.

How I'm feeling right now

How I feel



How I really feel



A lot of stuff has been going on as of late. I'll keep you guys posted in a bit.

Analyzing the situation

So I'm the type of person that looks back on past events and try to figure out what I could've done to make the situation better. Lately there have been a lot of situations that have been going through my mind where the situation would've been way better if I didn't act the way I did. The worst situation is realizing you had a opportunity to do something and not realizing it until five minutes after the face.

For example, when a random BZ is giving you hints to she wants to have sex and you don't realize they wanted to do it until the next day. Ohhhhh if I had a nickel for everytime that happened.

So this past Thursday I met this new co-worker at our company party. She was a pretty lady who just graduated from state with a degree in business. I didn't get to talk to her much that day, but on Friday I wanted to get to know here better. Eventually some co-workers found out that she has a boyfriend. And usually when I hear they have a boyfriend, I lose all motivation. I'm not the type of person to be the "other man" to somebody. So I didn't think much about it anymore.

Then what happens, I end up running into her when I had to drop off a package to another department. When I ran into her, she was kind enough to help me find the cubicle I was trying to deliver the package. And at that point, we got into a nice little conversation. I got to know a little bit more about her, see what she was doing this weekend. It wasn't quiet that was for sure, the conversation was definitely active. When she asked me what I was all about this weekend, I told her about this art show that I was planning on attending. We were talking from the moment we ran into each other to the moment we left the parking lot. Now at that point I just told her to have a good weekend. The minute I got into my car, I realized what I could've done to make the situation better.

What could've improved

Instead of telling her have a good weekend. I could've asked her for her number and invited her to the art show. She really looked engaged into the conversation, and I think she was expecting for me to say more than have a good weekend. I also should of suggested kicking it sometime. Not only that, but when I said have a good weekend, it sounded like it was forced out. I could've sounded more smoother when saying by, like "I'll see you later" or something.

When I got into my car, I definitely was kicking myself. Now even though she has a boyfriend, you can't have too many friends. But maybe I'm just overeacting. There'll probably be more opportunities when I get to talk to her. It just sucks when you feel like you had a golden opportunity and you didn't do nothing about it.

Its time to stop the could of, would of, should of and started saying I did the dayam thing.

Turkey Dinner

So this past Thanksgiving my parents were telling me that I was responsible for cooking the turkey this year. And I had a sick recipe in mind, I was planning on using the recipe that my big bro did in Thanksgiving last year. Basically you start by lining the pan with jalapeno peppers, then you add vegetables that will soak up all the juices from the turkey. Now as for the turkey itself, I used a mayonnaise base that consisted of rosemary, black pepper, salt, brown suger and cinnamon. After covering that turkey up with the base, I added a layer of chili flakes. Spicy Enough?

Now on the day before Thanksgiving my Dad tells me to wake up early tomorrow so I can cook the turkey and have it ready by noon. So I ended up waking up at 7:30 Thanksgiving morning. And what do I come down to see at 7:30 in the morning. The turkey already in the oven. My Dad could not wait for me and woke up at 6 in the morning and prepared the turkey himself.

After all that talk of letting me do it, he did it himself. So instead of cooking that turkey for my family. I'd cook it for my homies. So on December 2nd, I invited my homies over for my version of Thanksgiving. Now since I'm not balling yet, my menu was limited but here's what it consisted of:

Turkey
Country Bread and Sage Stuffing
Mac and Cheese w/Bacon
Garlic Parmesan mashed potatos (thanks to my roommate Brandon)
Rumproast (Thanks to my roommate Josh)

I additionally wanted to make apple pie from scratch and home made biscuits, but time was limited.

All in all the dinner fed 11 people and eveybody was grubbin. There were no sides left, but there was plenty of turkey left. And I really thought 18 pounds wasn't going to be enough. But we ended up having turkey leftovers for a week. Which was all good for the house.

Here are some pics:


The Turkey before I added the chili flakes with the mayo base


The turkey with the chili flakes


The end result




The aftermath

I really love to cook, if you guys ever have the chance, you should try some of my cooking. Today is only Monday and for some reason I made stuffing, chili and a pie. So if you need a chef, holla at your boy.

The Half Alive Playlist

There are times when your feeling down, not depressed and not happy, just down. At times like these you don't want to listen to anything too uplifting and you don't want to listen to totally depressing music. This playlist is something to listen to if you want to keep your mood of feeling half alive. Not too depressed but not too cheerful at all.

Nas-One Mic
Linkin Park- Valentine's Day
Boxcar Racer- I feel So
Atmosphere- God's Bathroom Floor
Linkin Park- From the Inside
Blink 182- Adam's Song
Linkin Park- Leave out all the rest
Linkin Park- Somewhere I belong
DMX- Slippin'
Linkin Park- Numb
Linkin Park- My December
Flyleaf- All around me
Flyleaf- Cassie (acoustic Version)
Blink 182- Stay Together for the kids
Stain'd- It's Been awhile
Stain'd- outside
Sum 41- Pieces
Augustana- Boston
Green Day- Wake me u when September Ends
Dashboard Confessional- This ruined Puzzle
Michael Andrews- Mad World
Duran Duran- Come Undone
Coldplay- Trouble
Stone Temple Pilots- Creep

How Disrespectful

It is always hard to deal with a death in the family. Such a life altering moment can break a person mentally and physically. The one thing you hope for is that the recently deceased finally rests in peace. Now going to one funeral a year I believe is one too many.

Now this here is an example of some inconsidorate if not ignorant actions. Now today I attended a funeral today for my close homie, his grandmother recently passed away, God Bless Her Soul. So the ceremony was proceding as usual. Now after all the prayers have been said and they were lowering the casket, a gentlemen out of nowhere and starts making a ruckes. First he started to create a commotion by screaming and stating "Hey I need to talk to you." He continued to speak in a loud voice about how long does he have to wait until his ceremony can begin. This guy was cussing at the worker of the cemetary and even at the pastor of our funeral. Some ladies were trying to calm the gentlemen down because he was screaming at a pastor and his reply was "He ain't my pastor." After many people were asking him to leave he to continued to scream and cuss the whole time he was leaving.

Your at a cemetary, a person is returning to the Earth. People are grieving and even crying, and you have the nerve to come up to their ceremony and create a scene. Give respect to the deceased, do you not care that someone has passed away? By far he was the loudest person I've ever heard in a cemetary. A cemetary is a final resting place and this guy was screaming and yelling like he was trying to wake them up. This person could've simply asked when our ceremony was going to end, the casket was being lowered, so the ceremony was going to be finished anyway. But he had to act inconsiderate and ignorant and acted the way he was. If he had a little patients, things would've ran more smoothly.

A lot of people I talked to wanted to cause some ruckes at the ceremony that person was at, but they realized they were better than that. Its better to turn the other cheek at a situation like that. So please, have a little patients. Just a little bit can go a long way. If he had a little patients, I wouldn't be blogging about this person right now.

Anime Review: Gundam 00

Its been awhile since I posted something anime related. And it seems all the anime I want to post are licensed now. But you guys are in for a treat today. This anime's license is not official yet. So you guys can check it out as soon as I'm done reviewing it.

Now I've always been a fan of Gundam Wing and G Gundam. I never really was a big fan of Gundam Seed but this new Gundam that is showing in Japan right now, I think is really upholding the Gundam name. Now I read some reviews saying that Gundam 00 is just Gundam Wing or the current times. And in-a-way I think thats good. But this story I believe is original.

Here's the premise of the story. With fossil fuels no longer available, the world has to depend on Solar power. Solar power is taken by these large towers extending all the way into space to grab the solar power from the sun. Since there are 3 major towers, 3 Governments were created based on those powers. Of course with different forms of governments, conflicts arise and war is based on the control of all the Earth's power. Now this is where the gundams come in. Suddanly a mysterious neutral party comes claiming to be a group called "Celestial being." Celestial being claims to be a organization to prevent wars. Celestial being use the gundams to prevent war from happening.

Now there are mixed responses with these gundams, some people support them, some oppose of them. Nobody is really sure what is Celestial being's true motive is. But the governments really consider the Gundams a threat.

So far there are 8 episodes and I'm hooked to this show. This show sometimes leaves you in a clifhanger, and sometimes the show ends with a question of what's going to happen next. The cast of characters do seem similar to Gundam Wing, but not too similar. This is a fight between govenments, not between earth and a space colony. But I do like how they created a story similar to whats going on right now. This can be seen with the use of terrorist attacks and government wars.

The design of the gundams are pretty tight, to put it simply there's a sword fighter, a sharpshooter, a jet transformer, and a bazooka and canon shooting gundam. And the pilots for each of these Gundams are some bad asses.

All in all I think this show is pretty good. Now I heard they are making over 2 seasons of this show. So you guys might as well start watching the show now so you can say you saw this show from the beginning.

Gundam 00... Check it Out!

Keeping everybody updated

Dayam, I didn't know I've been posting stuff only once a week. I feel very bad now. But a lot has been going down.

First of all I would like to wish everybody a happy Thanksgiving. I know I had a good holiday this year. Being able to cook some stuff I want. Now originally I was suppose to cook a large menu which included Turkey, Stuffing, Mashed Potatos, Biscuits and Mac and Cheese. But since our family was celebrating with our aunts and uncles this year, I ended up only cooking Stuffing and a apple pie. Let me just say, making pie dough is a bitch. Personally, the pillsburry pre-made pie crust is clutch. Its as good if not better then regular pie crust. Our Thanksgiving had a lot of filipino food, and I ain't complainin, it was a grip of good food and thats what really matters. Your thankful for what you have, and when you have good food you just made me a happy man. Throw in some b-boy practicing and guitar hero and you got a pretty dayam good thanksgiving.

Before Thanksgiving I had that interview for the internship on Tuesday. I left a good impression and they want me to start immediately. They just wanted me to think about it over the vacation and give the manager a call. But if I do start, she wants to make sure that I had a secure living situation and a job to earn a living. Which got me thinking, I'm going to be working at a part time job and a non-paying internship. Which means I'm cutting my income in half if not into a third plus I'm losing my health benefits and 401K. Especially since I'm going to Japan soon, I need as much cash as I can get. But for the company I'm interning for, its actually a company I look forward to working with. I just hope I meet up to their expectations, if not exceed them. This must be the hunger that I was talking about in my last post. How bad do I want this? Am I willing to make sacrifices? How long will these sacrifices last? Will it all be worth it? Only time will tell

Friday was pretty chill, chilled with my homie and ended up shopping on black Friday. But sometimes I ask myself, is the deals worth the hassle of parking, all the people and the waiting. I mean, your offering a deal, but only 20 people can get the deal. I think that really stinks. If you advertise something, you should have to sell it to everybody. But thats just my opinion. The only thing I bought that day was a pair of jeans cause I'm in need of some new jeans. Having only two pairs (a chill pair and a clubbing pair) really sucks.

Saturday was a interesting day too. First I checked out the last SDSU football game. Now when I was still in school, the first couple games would have the student section packed. But when I went to this game, there were seriously only 12 people in the students section. Which I find pretty sad, especially when you have some colleges where their college games fill up the stadiums. SDSU still lost that game, but I was wondering what ever happened to school spirit. After that went to hooters and had some wings, then went galavanting in downtown. Normally, when you party in downtown, you dress up(nice dress shirt and nice shoes) to impress. I was all scrubbed out, I didn't shave, and I was sporting a hoody and sneakers. Definitely one of those moments where you feel a little out of place. But I still had fun, it was good going out with the homies again and seeing people I haven't seen in awhile.

Its time to get my head in the game. Its time to find that job. Its that time to relocate to Los Angeles.

I feel really bad from straying away from my original purposes for this blog (anime, playlists), so the next post will be a anime post.

Holla.

Not selling myself short

There will be some anime reviews and pieces posted really soon. I know I'm lagging on that stuff and I apologize to the readers who are looking for that stuff. But rest assured it will be on here.

But lately I've been standing at some crossroads trying to figure out my situation right now. Yeah I know I've been trying to figure out my situation a lot lately but there are things that just left me thinking.


Options are being thrown at me everyday. Sometimes I don't choose the best option. But after choosing the worst option, you learn your lesson and you move on. I gotta prep for this interview. Wish me luck.

The next (best) thing

First of all I would like to thank Phase 3 for supplying the sources for my new banner.

So a couple days ago, my homie Mike comes into town and we hang out at a family party. One thing we were talking about were relationships and how long your going to wait before you pop the question. My homie was talking about how once meets someone to his liking, he's going to give it six months and then pop the question. I was surprised to hear that he would wait that short of a period. But he did bring up a good point...

"Sure your trying to find the perfect companion, but you can't just keep dating and go back to the one you thought was the best. It doesn't work that way. Because everybody you meet is significant in their own way. The person you date next may not be better than the last person you dated. Because there's no such thing as the next best thing, there's only the next thing."

Which is totally true, just like Janet Jackson said "you don't know what you got til its gone." When it comes to dating, if you totally diggin the person your next to, then you shouldn't have any doubt in your mind. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying once you find someone go ahead and put a ring on their finger. I'm saying give it a reasonable amount of time before making the commitment.

Sure you can find Ms. Perfect, but do you know how many people your going to see before you realize you have it? It's a level of give and take nowadays. There are so many people in this world, do you know how hard its going to be to find Ms. Right? Everybody isn't perfect, we all have our faults.

Now this is a double edged sword too, because I've seen couples date for a long amount of time. Personally I would give it a couple years before I even consider marriage. But there are couples I know who's been dating for over 8 years. Now thats too long, if you've been together for half a decade, you might as well get engaged. But thats my opinion.

Relationships is a very complex subject, it definitely can't be covered in just one blog entry. All I'm saying is never have regrets. Don't dwell on what could've been, reminisce more on the positive things to come.

I got my identity stolen

My apologies for not updating this as often as I should. But I'm dealing with a lot of stuff right now. One of them is somebody stealing my credit card information. Here's a little rundown on what happened.

Everyday I check my online statement to see if I have any unusual charges or if I was charged correctly.

A couple weeks ago I noticed a small charge from a company I know I didn't authorize.

So I called the customer service center and I ended up getting a customer service center that was out of the country. And they told me that I couldn't do anything about it until the charges actually charges on my card.

So I waited to see if the charge would disappear

Two days later I find two more unauthorized pending charges for over $950. Which would put me over my credit limit.

I said "Fuck that" and called the customer service center again.

This time I get one from within the country. I told them what was going on and they immediately connected me to their fraud department.

I was able to get stuff settled.

The thing I'm wondering was, how come I couldn't go straight to the fraud department when I noticed the first small charge.

What I'm tripping about is that this is my second time getting my identity stolen. And i never want to end up like those people in the citi bank commercials. The first time I got my information stolen was by some spyware off my ex-roommates computer. With the spyware, they were able to steal my ebay and e-mail information. I noticed something was fishy when I couldn't log onto my own e-mail. When I got my stuff back, some mother fucker bought a whole bunch of crap on my ebay account. I got pissed. Luckily nothing was charged and I changed my info in time.

Dealing with shit like that is a large hassle. And especially having to deal with it twice. To everybody I know, please be careful with your information. You don't know who might take your stuff.

Stop trying to find it, let it find you.

So I read a lot of materials lately, speaking about how if you don't think about finding a girl, you'll eventually find one. Which I now believe is true. I mean if you preoccupy your time being concerned about if your going to be with somebody. You'll never be with somebody. Because when your concerned, every action you do is affected. So when your trying to talk to some girl, and your too concerned about how you appear to the person, or how this might be the one. Pretty much your not going to get that girl, there will be a decision you make that'll fuck up everything. And the only thing you will think of is that one action you did to fuck up your chance with that one person that could've been something.

Now when you don't preoccupy your time trying to find a girl, basically it comes naturally. See when your not thinking about it, and your really active, it will eventually happen. Mainly because your not concerned about what the other person thinks. Your more concerned about doing your own thing. Thus, your not making any fucked up decisions where the person doesn't want to talk to her. And if you do fuck up, you don't care because your not concerned about what she thinks. Your more concerned about what you think.

And that really should be the mentality you should have. When you have the "I don't care" mentality. You can tackle a lot of things. It is true though, who cares what a girl you just met five minutes ago thinks compared to what you think. Now I know that it may sound a little hard at first, but once you get it. Everything becomes cake.

An example is a homie of mine, nowadays people are having sex at a early age. On average its during the high school days. My homie didn't get any till the middle of his college career. And when he did, he started bumping up his numbers quick. He said that once he got the mentality that "I'm just here to have a good time," things just came naturally.

Now there are folks out there who think that girls will come up to you, start the conversation and boom your going to get it. I find those people to be ignorant. Also, there are those folks out there who only go out if they know girls are there. That's the wrong mentality, that goes along the lines of being concerned if your going to get some that night. If you just have that going to have a good time mentality. It'll just happen.

So the number one rule: Don't be concerned about finding someone, they will find you naturally.

It's a law a nature you can't fight. For some reason it happens.


*Random thoughts

All my roommates talk about is sex, and this ain't no lie. Everyday, almost every moment if the tv isn't on. All they talk about is sex.

New playlist coming out soon.

Another weekend, another house party

So Friday night ended up being a being a brainstorming night to come up with potential businesses where we can get rich. After watching a show on VH1 about celebrity sex lives. They straight showed these two looking nerdy looking asian guys who receive over 100 million a year being the netflix of porn. Or a guy receiving millions for an adult social site. After seeing that, my roommates and I got pissed and tried to come up with ideas to become successful. I don't want to mention any because they can have potential.

And then Saturday comes. We ended up having another house party. This time with 2 hefenwizen kegs. Our ex roommate had a party for her water ski team so there were a bunch of random schools here. After seeing some of these cats party, water ski people are nothing but punk ass bitches. The drink, talk shit, and pass out on your carpet. The night was pretty fun but let me point out some shit.

Always have a dj for a party because you can't go behind the dj booth and change their music. If you use a ipod, everybody thinks they can change your music.

Dumb people seriously want to dance to that Soulja Boy song. Dumb Ladies seriously want to dance to that shit. Do they know what supersoak that hoe means? Do they know what Superman that Hoe means? Chris Rock was on point when he said that the song could be degrading as hell, but their reply is "Shit, they ain't talking about me."

You don't disrespect the person who provided the music. If you say the ipod sucks, bring your own fucking music and lets see if you can provide better music. I lost a lot of respect for Sacramento State after that night.

You go to a house party and you disrespect the people of the house, that ain't cool. You don't see me and my roommates, drink your free shit and then complain about how this shit sucks. If you can't appreciate, get the fuck out of here.

What's there to do in sacramento anyway? Theres no beach, your in the middle of nowhere and people would rather claim the bay than the state capital. There's only a couple cool things about that city and they know who they are.

With all anger aside, I'm just happy there are people out there who appreciate music as I do. Mass props to those folks out there.

But it was all good, everybody got their drink on, there were no fights. But there are a lot of dumb folks out there.

It's coming to a point where I'm seriously wanna start djing so no one Fucks with my music.

Just a little food for thought. Hope everybody had a good nights rest off the extra hour. I know I needed it. Peace out you'll.

Techno: Modern day Symphonies

This might be a stretch. But I really imagine that techno music as the modern day symphony. Now when I say techno music, I don't mean any random trance dj's. I mean the artist that creates albums such as Daft Punk, The chemical brothers, and Fatboy Slim.

Consider this, the symphonies back in the day were meant to tell a story with the use of instruments. There wasn't use of any visual effects, it was pure music. So people would go to a symphony, sit down, listen to the music and just imagine the story being told. With each performance being a different telling of the story. I'm a big fan of classical music. I have attended symphonies before and I'm really trying to get back playing the piano.

Now techno music is just like a symphony. Except instead of using classical instruments, they're using the technology of today. If you sit down and listen to Daft Punk's album Discovery, the one with one more time and harder better faster stronger, you will understand why. Instead of the conductor, theirs the artists. And Instead of a orchestra there's the machines and synthesizers. They don't just make a bunch of random noises. They tell a story and make you picture it with your mind. Daft Punk does aid you with a visual aid with their movie Interstella 5555. Proving that their telling a story and not just make random noises.

Whether its classical or techno, I feel I can sit down listen to the music and get lost into it. Now when I say get lost into the music, I mean let the music take you away. You feel the music in your blood. Your mind is envisioning the picture they are painting. Mass props to you if you understand what I'm talking about when I say I get lost into the music.

Actions speak louder than blogs

So I was on karmaloop and I noticed this one T-shirt caught my eye. It looked like this:

Mass props to Major Threat for coming out with this T-shirt.

After seeing that shirt it made me sit down and really think about what their saying. And I really believe its the dayam truth. I know I have been writing about how I feel and whats been going on in my life. But instead of griping and complaining. I should take more action. The more action I do, the more positive entries I can enter in here. But I know there are cats out there who do nothing but blog and complain. Which is their choice. But like the T-shirt says, actions speak louder than blogs.

There was a line from Hustle and flow that I felt goes along with that t-shirt.

"There are two types of people, those who talk the talk and those who walk the walk. Those who walk don't talk that much because their too busy walking."

If I want that job, I need more determination. I need more drive. Things gotta change and I gotta make it happen. And the day it all comes together, that'll be the day I can say I started walking.

iLL-Literacy

So a couple weeks ago I went up to san marcos to check out my roommates friend perform. His friend ended up being part of a spoken word group called Ill-literacy. Now these cats are tight as hell. In fact, one of the members of the group was featured on Def Poetry Jam. I was blown away by these guys. These guys kept you into it the whole time they performed. Especially after performing from a small spoken word night and seeing some local people do their thing. Listening to these guys made me realize that there is so much talent out there, in this state alone.

These cats have skill, and they covered every subject. From self conciousness, falling in love, to trying to survive. Anything you would be stressin about was definitely covered. Now I can't describe all the heart and emotion they put into this show. But after I listened to these cats, they really humbled me. I mean before I heard them perform, I was stressin on how much my life ain't perfect. How I don't have the ideal job or the ideal amount of money. Then after hearing them, I walked out of that hall and thought life ain't so bad.

I got to chill with these cats after and these guys are some cool homies. Listening to all their motivations to make them do what they want to do. I mean these cats are doing the stuff they love. They're touring the nation, they even performed overseas. I'm a little envious and jealous of these cats. Being a writer and a spoken word artist myself. These cats gave me the drive I needed to get the creativity going again. And I thank them for that.

I would highly suggest checking these cats out because these guys are amazing. Here are some examples of their performances.





And their promo video

Halloween weekend Part II

Saturday

So to begin, Daft Punk played their final US tour date for 2007 in las vegas on this day. The only excuse I can think of missing this opportunity is saving up for my japan trip. Granted I can still catch one of their other shows, but they are all out of the country. And the thing that killed me the most about this, is that I didn't catch wind of their tour and set-up till about a day before thier last US date. So I felt like I was two minutes too late. And I'm a big fan of listening to techno live. Especially if its a good band like daft punk. I just want to say dammit. Plain and simple. Here is an example of what I missed.



So instead of being in vegas checking out the show of a lifetime. I ended up being with my other music interest... Hip Hop. More specifically Underground and Funk. Me and my homie rolled up to long beach to visit his girl. And we ended up at some lounge called Jimmy's which had free hip hop and funk playing all night. Now when I say funk, I mean shit that you can bboy to. Also, it was good underground or rare groove hip hop. Not the mainstream BS that you hear nowadays. I mean you can get a hit record for saying "Superman that Hoe", come on now. So at this small place in Santa Monica, it was tight to see bboys doing their thing. And it was also good to see fellow hip hop enthusiasts. I was talking to this one cat who was talking to me about how lyrics nowadays are like nursery rhymes. What ever happened to the lyrics that made you put some thought into it. Which I totally agree. So Saturday was getting more into my hip hop side.

Sunday

The original plan was to visit our homegirl from ill-literacy and see her perform. What me and my homie didn't know was that she was performing at a filipino festival. Now that got me all excited. It's been awhile since I've been to one of these functions. Now the Mabuhay festival was held by Troy Phi at USC. The festival had a variety of filipino based companies. I picked up a shirt from pnoy apparel. Mass props to these cats because these cats are from San Diego.

I feel good visiting these functions because its good to see filipinos reaching out to each other trying to show them their culture, their history and their pride. There was a variety of performances from Jazz, spoken word, dancing and even the Basco Bros performed. The filiipino who tried out for the Pussycat Dolls was also there. Here's a vid of a performer named Gabe Bondoc. I apologize, this is not my video and the quality might be bad.



Being on USC's campus made me miss the feeling of campus life. Hanging out, studying, working only because you need the money and you know your going to quit it soon. For some reason, just chilling on that campus made me consider graduate school. Another thing being on campus made me realize is that I really need a digital camera. There were so many opportunities for artistic pictures but unfortunately couldn't catch because I didn't have a camera. So I might cop one soon.

So as the weekend ends another Monday comes. *sigh* Like Common says "One day It'll all make sense"

Halloween weekend Part I

So its been awhile. Haven't entered anything new since the fires. But I'm happy to say that the fires are finally put out. But this whole week has been crazy. There's a lot of stuff I want to talk about and I'm going to list it off now before I forget.

Action speak louder than blogs
Ill Literacy humbled me
Techno, modern day symphonies

...I swear there was more. But I'll come back to it I guess.

But this weekend has been pretty eventful. So eventful that it made me realize that I need a digital camera, because there were a lot of pictures that had artistic potential. But on with the weekend.

Halloween Costume/Going Away/Welcome new roommates party

So Friday arrived and the fires was pretty much relinquished. And we had many reason to celebrate. We officially have 2 new roommates and one of our old roommates was leaving. So of course you had to go in style. Now that we know we have some cool neighbors, we had a party at our house. We had a variety of drinks from sangria to a keg. Now let me just say that the party was a mixture of brown and white people partying. And white people are crazy party people. Aside from the variety of costumes we had at the party, there was also the numerous jokes and events. I'll give you the main highlight, our new roommates thought it would be cool to shoot each other with a bb gun. After one pump, a shot with a bb gun leaves a red mark. Now 3 pumps pierces the skin. These guys went up to four pumps which basically went into the skin and looked like a pimple. Our new roommates are crazy, lets leave it at that. Aside from that, the night was really fun. It was good to see my homies dressed up and having a good time and thats really my aim. I always think about others before I think about myself. And the best thing about this party, it didn't end till 4 in the morning. Of course the aftermath was pretty nasty.

While the San Diego Fires are going on

So after entering in a update on this site. Everything begins to turn haywire. My roommate goes to the grocery store to find no groceries left. Bottom feeders are trying to sell masks at $2.00 a piece when its only 10 cents to make. And everybody in my neighborhood supposedly had to evacuate.

To start off, the power goes out in our neighborhood. So my roommates and I get concerned and start packing the most important stuff. I packed the items I mentioned in the previous posts. I double checked to make sure that my friends and family were ok. And really we just waited until we got the signal to leave. On the news, I couldn't believe they did this. But one of the reporters were reporting in front of his own house burning down. That guy had a lot of willpower to report his own property being destroyed. If it was me, I wouldn't be able to take it and break down in front of the camera.

It was around 8:00 PM where one of neighbors came up to us and told us that they got the reverse 911 call telling them to leave. If you could only imagine a whole neighborhood all at once packing their stuff up, everybody's garage is open and files and clothes are being stuffed in the trunks of the cars. Now as me and the roommates went our seperate ways. One of our neighbors said that the news just announced that they made a mistake and we didn't have to evacuate. Still the fires were around the Rancho Bernardo, 4S Ranch, Poway area which is rediculously close to Mira Mesa. I didn't know what the night was going to bring.

Regardless of the information I received, I headed down to national city to my homies pad. The freeways were surprisingly open and there wasn't any traffic going South. Now when I got there, both of us thought our area was from a distance. We hung out and tried to fall asleep around 2:00 PM. Around 4:00 PM, the neighbors start to stir up a commotion and my homie's parents are in a panic. The neighbors are saying a fire just started about 5 miles away from us. I couldn't fall asleep with all this stuff going on. The outside air became more smokey and I realized I had to evacuate the safe area I was just at. Thankfully my homie in Mission Valley said that the doors are open. So I can roll there the minute we get the signal.

Stayed up till around 6 in the morning. My homie said that he'll wake me up if we get the signal to leave. So I crashed. Basically waking up everytime I hear the phone going off, wondering if its the call to get out of there. So my naps were in one hour periods. Come noontime, I finally woke up, caught up on sleep. No signal has been made. And I'm still in national city. My truck is covered in ash, the sky is grey.

My prayers go out to everybody who lost their homes and to the ones that lost their lives.

The skies are ashy and grey

So today there are two major fires going on in San Diego county. One up north in the Ramona area and one down south close by the Border. With those two fires going on, people had to be evacuated and the last time I saw there was one confirmed death. Thanks to this dry weather we've been having lately, a brush fire was bound to happen.

Now thanks to that fire, it gives the area that I'm living in an eerie feeling. The skies are grey and ashes are everywhere. It leaves the area in a bright red haze. And of course you have that burnt smell everywhere. The santa ana winds are not helping either because that's just helping the stuff spread. To be honest, this really looks like one of those scenes from a zombie film. Where the city looks deserted and dust and debris fly everywhere. And the craziest stuff I saw today was when running errands. I straight saw some kids wearing bandanas and surgical masks around their faces to help them breath. Is this what our future going to look like? Is our air going to be so fucked up that we have to wear masks to help us breath.

Are these documentaries and facts about our earth changing not affecting us at all? What I truly believe right now is that people are aware that our atmosphere is changing, but their just in denial. Like our bodies, we only have one earth. We have to take care of the earth like our bodies or else were screwed. In the future, I imagine their should be a world wide effort to help our planet out. For example I wonder what would happen if nobody drove their cars for 3 days. It would be hard to enforce, but imagine the positive effects it will have.

If you can only imagine right now, my truck is covered in ash, my house smells like smoke and people are losing their homes and memories. This all happened on this day Sunday.

*Update

So overnight the fire has spread over San Diego County. In fact there were fires close by my parents, my grandparents and myself. While leaving for work the sun was blocked by all the smoke and ash making the sky orange. Next time I'll take a picture of it. While at work, worrying about the people I care about. I was thinking, if the time came, what would I pack and take with me. It would be the following:

Clothes
My computer
My pictures

Everything else I could live w/o until I get back on my feet. I'm thankful that the fire hasn't affected any of my family and friends.

Many Businesses and Schools have been cancelled. And I got off early from my job. To everybody out there in San Diego. My prayers are with you.

The "play anything in a club" playlist

So there are some places you go to that doesn't play good music. But the same music, the same music you hear just to keep people excited. The music that was in 3 months ago. Nothing of a variety or to affect the mood. Its more like play it, here the crowd go woooooo once and play a whole bunch of the same stuff. There's certain bars in PB that only appeal to the drunken stuper demographic. Here is their playlist.

2pac- California Love
Journey- Don't stop believing
Darude- Sand Storm
Shop Boyz- Party like a rock star
Britney Spears- Gimme Some
Britney Spears- Toxic
Lynyrd Skynard- Sweet Home alabama
Soulja Boy- Crank That
Ciara- Goodies
Black Eyed Peas- My humps
Gwen Stefani- Holla back girl
Beyonce- Crazy in love
Diddy- Last night
Hurricane Chris- Hey Bay Bay
Rihanna-Umbrella
A-Ha- Take on me
Beach Boys- California Dreamin (Club Version)
50 cent- in da club
Guns N Roses- Sweet Child O Mine Intro
Bel Biv Devoe- Poison
Paperboy- Diddy
Usher- Yeah
Lil Jon- Get Low
Pussycat Dolls- Don't Cha
Pussycat Dolls- Buttons
Yung Joc- It's Going Down
E-40- Tell me when to go
Jay-Z- Give it to me
Black Eyed Peas- Let's get it started
Chris Brown- Run it
Bubba Sparxxx- Ms. New Booty
Justin Timberlake- Sexy Back
Justin Timberlake- Dance With me
Damian Marley- Welcome to Jamrock
Cassie- Me and U
Will-I-Am - I got it from my momma
DJ UNK- Walk it out
Kanye West- Golddigger
Kanye West- Stronger
Justin Timberlake- Lovestoned
Nelly fertado- Permiscious
Sean Kingston- Beautiful Girls
Maroon 5- Makes me wonder
Mims- This is why I'm hot
Amy Winehouse- Rehab
T-Pain- Buy you a drank
Rihanna- Pon da replay
Gnarls Barkley- Crazy
Chingy- Right thurr
Christina Aguilara- Dirty
Dr. Dre- The next episode
Outkast- Hey ya
Daft Punk- One more time
Mariah Carrey- It's like that
R.Kelly f/ Jay-Z - Fiesta Remix
Mary J Blige- Dance for me
112- Dance with me
Snoop Dogg- Drop it like its hot
Jennifer Lopez- Get Right
Missy Elliot- One minute Man
Kevin Little- Turn me on
Snoop Dogg- It ain't no fun
Kelis- Bossy
Amerie- One Thing
Petey Pablo- Freek-A-Leek
Ying Yang Twinz- Salk Shaker
Sean Paul- Get Busy
Sean Paul- Temperature
Eminem- Shake That
Gwen Stefani- Rich Girl
Jamie Foxx- Unpredictable
Michael Jackson- Rock with you
Montell Jordan- This is how we do it
Notorious B.I.G.- Hypnotize
Paula DeAnda- doing too much
UB40- Red Red Wine
J-Kwon- Tipsy
Kelis- Milkshake
Daddy Yankee- La Gasolina

Piece: A song from Paris

In 2005, I traveled around Europe for a month. If I would have to sum up my trip, I would have to say the trip was bittersweet. I experienced every emotion you can think of on that trip. I had my share of ups, and a grip of downs. Mainly I saw myself for what I really was.

Towards the end of the trip, I wrote a couple pieces. Just letting out what I had in my head. Here's one of them. This piece actually should have the instrumental to Jay-Z's Dear Summer in the background. Because I wrote this piece while listening to this song on repeat. If you haven't heard the song. I attached a clip to help you out. Hope you enjoy



A Song From Paris

Chillen in front the Moulin Rouge
Past 30 days got me confused
Can't refuse the taste of beer and wine
The drunkeness fades in time

But wait, rewind, let's back track what you did
You should be amazed at the life you lived.

No matter what country, I'm at a park bench
Making these flows, trying to make sense

Going to different cities, walking aimlessly
Thank God I got my family

The buck might have stopped here
and that's truly the one thing I fear
But everything is crystal clear

When in Rome I did the same in amsterdam
Hope my travelin partner will come to understand

Everybody got differnt levels of fun.
Its good to have some, but I felt like I got none

I hope one day the tables will turn
And I get someone and you get burned

4 Horses will ride someday
But today will not be that day

Because today was a journey what I had to do solo
I didn't want you guys to say "Oh NO!"

To be honest with you, I thought of slitting my wrists.
I have to thank God for getting me through this

For providing me with a shining light.
I'm gonna hug her the minute I get off the flight

Tell her Thank you for being a friend
You were the one thing I looked forward to in the end.

It's hard to tell if I'm homesick of I miss my homies
Dayam Europe loves to play Akon's song Lonely

A portion of the world I felt I conquered
The opportunity I had, I'm honored

All the memories I'll forever cherish
I want the scrapbook with me when I perish

People outside will never understand.
The Eurotrip of me, W****** and A**

“Sen No Yoru wo Koete” by Aqua timez

So I was listening to this song a couple days ago. And the song itself w/o the translation I thought was pretty good. But as I investigated on what the words mean. I found out that his is a really moving song. It actually made me want to learn the Japanese language all over again. To make sure I don't miss a good song like this again. Talking about trying to get over 1000 nights to say I love you. I never knew this song had such strong words. I hope you enjoy.

I would like to thank Asep Koswara for the lyrics.



“Sen No Yoru wo Koete” by Aqua timez
(english Translation)

I want to be loved, but you don’t seem to love me
I wander within that repetition
I found one answer; that even if I’m scared, even if I’m hurt
I can say “I love you” to the person who I love

Do you love me? Or not love me?
As for things like that, it’s already fine either way
No matter how I wish
There are many unchangeable things in this world, right?
That’s right, and because only the fact of my loving you
Is the truth unchangeable by anyone

I want to overcome the thousands of nights and tell it to you
There’s something that I must tell you
I want to be loved, but you don’t seem to love me
I wander within that repetition
I found one answer; that even if I’m scared
Even if I’m hurt, I can say “I love you” to the person who I love
It’s scary to turn my feelings into words
But I can say “I love you” to the person who I love

In this broad world, I can’t express the joy of encountering you with words
So we smile, sing about the vividly passing autumn in do-re-mi
Turn our backs on winter, wait for the sunlight streaming through trees in spring
And become reborn anew, so that we can protect someone

On the path we came from and our destination, when we looked back, I’d always have timid eyes
I want to face you, but I can’t be honest
I, who repeated days of not being able to straightforwardly love my partner
And hated being alone on that day
Seemed to love people while unwounded

I’ll overcome the thousands of nights and go meet you now
There is something that I must tell you
I want to be loved, but you don’t seem to love me
I wander within that repetition
I found one answer; that even if I’m scared
Even if I’m hurt, I can say “I love you” to the person who I love
Even if those thoughts aren’t fulfilled, I can say “I love you” to the person who I love
It’s the most wonderful thing in this world

Fascination with Fireworks... or lack of

When I was a kid, fireworks were cool. Of course a lot of things were cool back in the day. Seeing the night sky illuminate with different colors. Back in the day, fireworks was all about the colors and how fast each one blew up. Fireworks now have different shapes and colors. Some fireworks can blow up to two different colors, now they end up in shapes like happy faces or planets.

When your young, its acceptable to watch fireworks with your family and it ain't no thing. But when you reach around the 14-30 age, watching fireworks becomes more as a couple event, or with a group of friends. As I got older, the appeal of fireworks wasn't that exciting anymore.

It could be because I haven't watched fireworks as boyfriend and girlfriend before. It also doesn't help that I had a group of friends that thought fireworks were stupid. Coincidentally I don't hang out with them anymore. But like I said, as I got older, I saw nothing but couples watching fireworks. So when it comes to those types of things, I sort of feel defeated. And fireworks became more like "eh." Another factor could be seeing the same thing everytime, 4 times a year. I mean it got boring after awhile. It wasn't until now that the new colors and shapes are bringing the excitement back to fireworks.

I'm not sure how all my homies see fireworks nowadays. But I'm sure they would say "their only fun if you light them yourself."

Maybe my point of view will change when I finally see a fireworks display while not feeling defeated. But for now, it ain't a big thing.

Random Thoughts

The weekend I had was pretty relaxing, but theres a lot of stuff going on through my mind. Its really going to take a lot of time to explain so I'm just going to list off what I've been thinking about.

I'm crossing my fingers that I get a job by December

Is applying to all these jobs even worth it?

Is there something that I'm doing wrong where they don't look at my resume?

I don't want to give up going to Japan in May 2008

This weekend was pretty chill. Chilled with folks and just relaxed

Motivation, I need to find it again

I have to get my guitar back so I can start learning

Piano lessons, I'm going to start getting them once I get my job ish settled

Six pack, Six pack, Six pack

Love leaves when Hunger settles in

Was the way I was raised affected where I'm at now?

I should take salsa lessons again

5K's are cake walks, I should be training for marathons now

Holidays are coming, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas

I want to make a difference somewhere

Settling for mediocre is bullshit

Don't be concerned what other people think

Still waiting for that moment when I can generally smile.

Happy Place

Everybody has something that'll bring them to a happy place. Whether its a picture or listening to a song. There's something that'll make you smile.

Watching this video always make me smile.

The return of Spoken Word night

So tonight I attended my first spoken word night in 3 years. And I have to say it was a good feeling getting back into the groove and performing a piece. Just to know that the audience is feeling your pieces just brings me back to why I started writing again. Being the perfectionist I am, I wished I could put more emotion into the pieces I performed. I mean yeah I gave emphasis, but I really felt like it could've been better. But like my friend said, its not a competition. Just feel good that you got back on the mic. Which I totally agree. But I'd have to thank him for getting my creative juices flowing.

Now when I write a piece, I put all my emotions into it. I only write when I have the inspiration to, I don't force it and I don't make a piece half ass. If I'm not putting 100% into it, then I can't call it a piece.

Here is the piece I performed today that I wrote for the occasion

This piece is about the goals I have in life and how trying to find a job I like sucks. Hope you like it

What Changed?

Gee, I can't wait to graduate and get a job!
Is what I said back in the day
Blinded by my ignorant college ways

Big dreams about cash I never saw the truth
Cause it's a lot of BS that I've been through
Now its true you give up lectures and tests
But you ive up funn stuff without time to rest
Let me profess the truth of after the diploma
Give you some insight of this real world coma

You give up going to classroom 925
To get a nine to five
Did I mention the possibility of overtime?

Your 3 months vacation shrink down to 10 days
Well... make it 15 if you include holidays

Instead of worrying about class the next day
Your concerned about stocks in your 401K

Projects, midterms and finals
becomes meetings, reports and reviews
Now is it a job your really want to pursue?

If I knew it was going to be elike this I would've got seven degrees
Broaden my mind instead of using Office XP

Plant some seeds and build my foundation
Have a idea and embark on its creation

Because when you die, how are you going to be remembered
Are you going to be known for being in a cubicle forever?

Fuck that, that's not going to be me
Because theirs a whiole of goals I want to achieve
Now some of this stuff might be hard to believe
But I will finish them before my hair recedes

I want to climb Mt. Fuji and see the Japanese sunrise
Watch the cherry blossoms bloom and fall with my own eyes

Learn how to play the guitar besides the song more than words
Run with the bulls and learn anchient proverbs

Learn the piano and participate in a symphony
Be arranged next to the trumbone and timpani

I want to visit the Filipino motherland
Be in a movie or commercial holding a fanta can

I picture myself acting like a unsung hero
Being in time square reenacting the My Boo Video

Dance to the center while singing the song
Have someone like Alicia Keys moving along

Whatever you may think just set yourself some goals
Something you want to do with your mind body and soul

Mass props to the people who enjoy their work.
That's like 10% of people on this earth

Sure right now they be happy acting the same
But 10 ears from now I want to ask What Changed?

Holding my breath

Its been awhile since I actually posted something on here. Well 5 or 6 days but still. I've been trying to get my head in the game. But here are some mini posts

Holding my breath
This past week I had a interview for a position in Los Angeles. I'm staying positive and crossing my fingers hoping I get this job. If I do get this position, that will be ticket to live in LA. So I've been preparing for this interview all week. I'm not going to have any doubts in my mind. I'm going to get this job.

Love at first sight
Have you ever had a time where you saw someone, and you just pictured your entire future with them. Now I know you had times where you see someone and you just want to get them in the sack. But seriously, have you seen someone out of nowhere and just pictured yourself with them for the rest of your life. Picturing having kids with them, being married to them, starting a life with them. Now the real question is, if you do see someone as someone you'll be with, did you actually do something to make that happen. Or did you just chill and let her pass by, not saying a word, not making a motion. For some reason I was at church today and I saw a pretty lady by herself and I just thought about that feeling. Which reminds me of this picture.


Timbaland f/ One Republic- Apologize
I heard this song a couple days ago and this song just reminded me of this girl I know back in college. I met this girl when I was a freshman. From the moment we met, we really clicked. Talked to each other every night, talk about our lives and what not. It felt like we had a reall connection. Then one day, she stops picking up her calls and I'm wondering what the hell happened. One day I decided to call her off another person's cell phone to see if she was ignoring my calls. I found out she was, when I asked for a explanation, she didn't, she just said that she had to go. After that conversation, I never spoke to her again. Later down the line my homie was telling me how she wanted to call and talk to me and apologize, but she didn't. Then a couple years she sent me a note online saying how she was sorry and how she felt bad. She actually sent another apology note a few months later. Being the man that I am now, I would've forgave her because I know how wrong burning bridges is. But back then, I felt like she did me wrong. So I never responded to any of her messages. This song reminds me of that time.



Spoken Word
I know I haven't posted that many pieces on this blog. But there's a spoken word night at Hot Java Cafe in san diego that I might perform at. Holla if you want details.

Written Piece: Voicemail

This piece can be found of my old xanga page. But I decided to repost this. I'm planning on posting a lot more of my pieces in the near future. Hope you enjoy.

I wrote this piece back in the day thinking about missed opportunities and dwelling on it too much. Pretty much if you think about it too much, you lose it. Don't think about these situations too hard. just do it.

Please keep in mind that these are spoken word pieces. So if you want to feel the true essance of the piece, you would have to see it performed.

Voicemail

You have 3 New Messages

This is it man, the opportunity of a lifetime.
Are you just gonna sit here and let your dream girl pass by?
The message says her flight leaves at nine.
She'll be waiting at Gate G if you wanna come and say hi.
Now I know you've been peepin her since the day you met.
and if you don't tell her now, you will have nothing but regrets.
So stop sitting on that couch trying to think.
Because she will disappear the moment you blink.

You have 2 new messages

Now I know your actin like usher cause you got it bad.
But your blind cause you can't see the opportunity you have.
So she's wondering if you got this next message so she'll make it louder.
Saying she leaves for New York in a couple hours.
Now here's the catch, she wants to tell you something.
And i say you get up and stop doing nothing.

But wait, Hold up, your body hesitates.
Are you gonna be the man to let her forever wait.
This girl is beyond the portrait of a goddess.
Just chillen with her is special and that's being modest.
now picture the moment you tell her how you feel.
All your doing is just keeping it real.
If she deny's you, it wasn't meant to be.
Its better to know that then what could it be.
Ok your driving to the airport, and not a moment too soon.
Because it would of been stupid to stay in your room.
Now step on the gas and meet your destiny.
Find out if it will ever be.

You have 1 new message

Oh Man, Your not going to believe this.
But this final message will leave you on your fingertips.
She's saying she likes you and all she wants to see you.
Knowing that if you say yes that she will be true.
Now time is against you and the clock is ticking.
You have 3 hours left before she starts leaving.
All she asks is to see her face.
And you can arrive giving her a warm embrace.
Look straight in her eye and sense your heart stop.
And pull a K-Ci and JoJo and catch her teardrop.
Go ahead man, mix a Jerry Mcquire, Can't Hardly Wait, and She's All that mixed into one.
Run through that airport cause your Mission needs to be done.

And the moment she tries and board that plane you look in her straight in her eye.
You say _______________ I love you, Good Bye.

You have 0 new messages.

They don't make slow jams like they use to

So this weekend was pretty eventful. Some of my friends were in town from various cities, so we all went out to a bunch of places, and a couple restaurants, plus a bbq. But I'll cover that on another day.

Tonight, while going home with a friend from a BBQ, we were listening to Boys II Men- On bended knee on the radio. And we were thinking, they don't make slow jams like they use to. And I'm not trying to be an old geezer and say music nowadays is no good, but I think its true. Their aren't groups out there like Atlantic Star, Surface, Jodeci bringing out slow jams that can be future karaoke hits. The closest thing to slow jams nowadays is J. holiday. Everything is just R&B, and that includes stuff like Bartender from T-Pain or Imma Flirt from R.Kelly.

It just seems like songs aren't really out there to create emotions. It's more out there just to make a hit. I mean the slow jams back in the day talked about really loving a person. Take for example the song by Mint Condition- Pretty Brown eyes, now that was the jam, the song talked about how much I'm so into you. Or if they do talk about making love, how beautiful it is just like they did in the Az Yet song Last Night. I mean remember the song by Subway- This lil game we play, they talked about wanting to get with each other, but in a playful way. Now the songs are just straight forward I want to get you in the sack. If anybody knows any good slow jam singers now, please let me know.

Another subject we had in the car was overcoming fear. my friend was saying "I have all the skills in the business world, but when it comes to girls it just isn't the same." There are a lot of guys I know who have that fear, the fear of rejection. Now I started reading this book called The Secret by Rhonda Bryne. Now I don't want to ruin the whole secret. But after reading that book, I'm just keeping a positive attitude in life.

Keep thinking I'm going to get the job, get the girl and get the money. To all those guys out there who have some certain fear. Just keep thinking positive and everntually it will come true. If you keep thinking negative thoughts, all you will get is negative results. Rejection is natural, you just have to learn from it.

Today was a day, Tomorrow is another day. Just keep aiming for your goals and everything to come in place.

Anime Review: Beck:Mongolian Chop Squad

I believe my Saturday is going to be a little bland. So here's a review.

This anime just started coming out on DVD. So please support the anime by purchasing the DVD. It's really a anime worth watching.

So the anime today is called Beck. Like I said in lovely complex, if your looking for flying robots, high speed action, and ninjas. This is not the anime for you. But if your looking for a coming of age anime with music with lyrics that pierce your soul. Then Beck is the anime for you.

Beck is the story about a young boy named Koyuki. Now Koyuki is trying to figure out where is his place in life, what was he meant to do. Koyuki normally listens to pop music which in Japanese culture is very uncool. One day while going out with Koyuki's friends, Koyuki meets Ryusuke Minami. Ryusuke intrudoces Koyuki to rock music and Koyuki becomes engulfed with the culture. After discovering that Koyuki has a good singing voice, Ryusuke invites Koyuki to be part of his band called Beck. Since Beck is taken in the US, they are known as Mongolian Chop Squad in the states. This anime covers the life of Koyuki from dealing with bullies, girls and the band.

There are many interesting characters in this anime. And this is definitely one of those animes where you want to see if Beck is going to make it. The music compliments the anime really well and the lyrics are really powerful. Being a big fan of their album, I would recommend checking out "Slip out" and "Moon on the Water"

I highly recommend this anime if your into a coming of age story and if you have big dreams. Because Koyuki prooves anybody can achieve their dreams.

A good quote

Currently Listening to: Bobby Valentino f/Ludacris- Rearview (Ridin')

So I've been watching this show called Densha Otoko. It's a comedy about an Otaku trying to get a girl. If you guys don't know what an Otaku is, its a person who has no life but anime. Those are the types that have no social skills and have like a grip of posters and anime models in their room. So this Otaku wants to jock this one girl, but he has no clue what to do. So he posts his questions on a forum and a grip of people help him out. Towards the end of the series one of the members of the forum posts a good quote:

"In sports and studies you might need more talent than effort... But in love, effort is more important than talent"

I really believe that is true. Now I'll leave it up to you what you can think of this quote. You could have all the natural skills in the world to attract the opposite sex, but it won't mean shit if you don't put in effort. Don't you ever wonder sometimes in clubs or social scenes you see the decent looking people with nobody while the ugly people get the good ones. Why do you think you see ugly ass mofos with hot ass girls, because those guys put in the effort to get them. All it takes is one step, and it doesn't help being a wallflower.

In the words of Suzuka "Love is not a spectator sport." So stop just standing there!

The "I'm going to make it" playlist

So with all these feelings of uncertainty, I had to make a playlist to believe that there's hope in this world. Listening to these songs made me believe that there is a hope, a chance, a possibility that I'm going to make it. Enjoy.

Outkast- In due Time
Trey Songz- Just gotta make it
Kanye West- Through the wire
Christina Believer- Believer
Incubus- Drive
Notorious B.I.G.- Juicy
Allen Anthony- Alright
Nas- I can
Nas- One Mic
A tribe called quest- Stressed out
Bone Thugs N Harmony- I tried
Bubba Sparxxxx- Deliverance
Dilated Peoples- This way
Linkin Park- Hands held high
Linkin Park- Somewhere I belong

Torn in between the two, and I really want to be with who?

So this weekend, I've been into deep thought. Analyzing my situation, and I've come to realize that I have to sacrifice one of two things: My career or my trip to Japan in May. I've been looking at the situation and by the way its going, it really looks like that I'm about to sacrifice my Japan trip.

See here's how the situation goes, as you guys already know, I've been trying to job hunt but its a bitch to find a job right now. So I narrowed it down to a couple options.

1. Keep working at my job til I find a better job and still go to Japan
2. Say Fuck it and quit my job, pack my stuff and go to LA and try to find a job there, using the money that i saved for Japan and give up my trip
3. Keep working at my job til next May go to Japan and then find my career job after that.

Being a person who has lived in San Diego his whole life, I really want to live in another city just to see where I really came from. I believe if I stay here, it's like I'm staying in a bubble. Sometimes you gotta get out of the bubble, to see how good you really had it.

Now I'm the type of person where if I have a goal, I'm going to achieve it. And I'm a man of my word. And this goal for japan spawned this year. And I've been determined to save just to go to that trip. One of my dreams right now is take a take a picture in japan with the sakura flowers falling down. I also want to travel at a young age, I dunno if I'd be down to go to the clubs when I'm around 28 or so, I'd just feel old. So I really want to take this trip while I'm still young. But I really got to think about the future and a career is very important.

I've been talking to my homies and I've got a lot of input and they have good points for each. Like a good homie said "you gotta secure yourself before you can go on vacation, if you go to Japan w/o a new job your just taking a gamble. Granted, you don't know what Japan will be like in a couple years." And I've had countless homie tell me that I'm a smart kid, and from experience, they really recommend that I move out of San Diego.

And I ain't gonna lie, in my point of view the job market in San Diego SUCKS!

The way things are going now. It's getting to the end of the year, so companies are thinking about their budget and its going to get extra hard to find a position. My roommates want to extend the lease here at the place I'm staying at til December. My roommate was telling me that I should start fresh in 2008. But my impatient ass wants a change now. Also, if I move back to my parents place, then I would have to pay rent. So either way, there's no escape to paying rent. So the most logical thing to do right now is to keep on working till I find a job and chill at this pad till December.

Bottom line, I want a new job and I don't want to sacrifice Japan.

Its looks like I do have to sacrifice Japan, but I don't want to accept that fact.

Does anybody have any suggestions?

Anime review: Lovely complex

I told myself that I would post up some anime recommendations. And here's the first one I had time to do. If you guys think anime is nothing but magical characters, ninjas and robots. You are way off. There are plenty of anime out there that deal with everydaylife from sports to relationships. And I have to say some of these relationship animes are very interesting. Either they bring a twist or bring out some scenes that you can relate to.

The one I would like to talk about today is called Lovely Complex. Its the story about a 5' 7" girl named Koizumi Risa and a 5'1" named Atsushi Otani. Koizumi and Otani are often referred to as a comdedic duo because they look so funny together. Now in the beginning, they decided to help each other out finding love because its hard to find a girl taller than Koizumi and its hard to find a girl shorter than Otani. But as the show progresses, Koizumi begins to fall for Otani. But Otani being dense as he is, he has no clue that Koizumi is jocking him.

The love roller coaster that these two go through take a lot of twist and turns from secret admirers to rejections. Like most anime, they do have the funny faces and large expressions. But this anime is really comedic and I highly recommend checking this show out. Kiss-sub is the group that subs this anime so mass props to them. So check this out before it gets licensed.









*This is for promotional use only. Please purchase the dvd when it gets licensed.