Uncertainity

"It ain't where he's at its where he, where he wanna be" Keyshia Cole- Let it go

That lyric speaks the truth. You can't judge a person where he's at right now. You gotta see where he wants to be, what are his goals, what does he want to acheive in life. Cause if you see me right now and only see me as a admin for a gas company. I think thats bs, cause I got a lot of things I want to do. Here's a list of stuff I want to learn or achieve:

Run a marathon
Play the guitar
Play the piano
Travel around Japan
Make print ads
Have a job with a major advertising companies
Make commericials
Make AMV's
Do some Bboy moves
Have a crowd of at least 5,000 chearing my name (now that one I don't have a plan yet, but it will come up)

Above all these, I have one thing that I want to do before I can do any of those. GET A DESCENT JOB! But trying to find a job is a bitch right now. I've been applying to a lot of places for the past 2 months and I've received no call. And been trying to apply for 2 months and receiving no reply makes me wonder wtf am I doing wrong.

This trying to find a job thing has been lingering over my head for awhile. It's like the monkey I can't get off my back. And thanks to this whole job hunt, I feel like I can't totally relax. Even when I'm just chillen, watching tv or something, I still think about it here and there.

The same time last year I had a totally different point of view on life. I was in the same position, working at the gas company, living at an apt. But the only difference between then and now is the illusion of hope I had 2006. Because last year I was under the impression that I was going to get full employee status and I would receive opportunities within the companies. But when my contract was reviewed, they just renewed my contract and basically shown me there was no hope where I was at.

But thankfully, and I'm really counting my blessings on this one. I have friends and family there to support me. For example, one of homies was showing me the brighter side of my situation. At least I'm alive and have the things I have instead of being shot or being in a coma. A couple friends I talked to yesterday layed it out and said, dude your still young. its not like your 35 and wanting to start your life, at least your trying to make a change now. My parents having my back too trying to make me think positive, "it's now I hope I get the job, its I WILL get the job."

It's a good thing to know that I'm not alone in this world. So to all my family and friends out there, I'm still stressin but I know you guys have my back and I thank you for that.

I know I'm lagging on playlists posts, but they'll be up when I find my inspiration. And the Nike run post will be up soon too.

But for now, just sit back and think who's there to support you. Because there has to be someone out there who cares for you.