Disappointed with myself

So its been awhile since I posted something. And to the five readers out there, I truly apologize. A lot has been going on, and a lot of stuff has been running through my mind. And for some reason it feels like its just not working for me right now. I made a post sometime last year about feeling like your just existing. Your not making a difference, you not affecting anybody, your just there. In your mind you want it to change, but it just doesn't. You just think about the situation your in and how it will never change. And you start to take everything as a personal hit.

Example, this past weekend I had a great time with my friends. But there was one thing that bothered me. If you want to know what was wrong, I'll be glad to tell you if you ask. But I won't type it here. I'll say this though, I had a golden opportunity to make a good night into the best night ever. And I really think I wasted that opportunity. I'm really disappointed in myself

Trying to stay positive in a negative world is a hard thing to do. I hear a lot of people tell me to keep my head up. But its hard to keep your head up when you feel like you have somebodys foot on the back of your head keeping it down.

I need to find my motivation again.

Til then, I've had this song on repeat for awhile...





P.S. For now, I'm going back to post some regular posts, the rest of my Japan trip will be covered sooner or later.